I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
