I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize