Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
