Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
