we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Terrible idea I love it
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
