it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize