omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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