I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
