cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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