why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize