I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
