Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
