I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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