his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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