he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
