the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize