The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
