you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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