If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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