i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
