Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
