Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize