Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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