so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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