my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
