Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize