I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
