I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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