Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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