I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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