I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
