I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
