She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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