I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So here I am, sexting at work.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
