Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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