i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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