im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize