6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
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