I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
