Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
