i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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