ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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