u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize