Nicole vs. Life
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
