yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
someone owes me an orgasm
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
