You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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