Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
