was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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