Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
