ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
