But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
im having a threesome with these popsicles
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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