I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
