Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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