508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
