i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
