i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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