She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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