brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
