feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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