i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
