this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
this hospital has no fireball
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
