Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize