i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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