I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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