"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
