Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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