if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
