I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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