So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
