those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
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