I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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