She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
