We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
