Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
